


Neptune

by collidewithskies



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assault, Blangst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Assault, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:39:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5446853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collidewithskies/pseuds/collidewithskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine wouldn't consider his life good, even though everyone assumes it is. </p><p>People always told him that he couldn't have any problems, he was rich.<br/>He got everything he wanted so nobody paid attention to the things he received that he didn't want.<br/>People like him couldn't have problems, they had everything that they could ever want. </p><p>So he kept his pain and his hurt hidden where it began to slowly dissolve him from the inside out. But that's the problem with storing feelings, they always break out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pitch black, pale blue

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags please.

The first time it happens Blaine is eight years old, still bursting with childish innocence. One of the older boys, who just started babysitting Blaine in the summer, takes him into the garden for what Blaine thinks is just another game of Superheroes and Villains. (He won’t ever admit it but sometimes he doesn’t want the bad guy to get caught. But he doesn’t want them to escape either. There’s just something inside of him that is afraid that the people are going to mistreat the villain. And yes, that would benefit millions of them but then again it would harm one. And yes, that one is a villain but isn’t it a superheros job to make sure that _no one_ gets hurt? So why would anybody be an exception?) 

As his friend (and he is his friend, even though he’s the same age as his brother) takes him out into the garden, Blaine gets ready to step into the role of Robin, Batman’s sidekick. He doesn't mind being the sidekick in these games because he knows his part in saving people is just as important as Batman’s. Even if people don’t praise him as much. As it was, he really prefers to stay on the sidelines, as long as the people are saved and are okay he doesn’t care about the fame. Eli does though, he always says that the fame is the best part in saving people. That people are weak, that if somebody hurts them; they have every ability to stop and control it. He thinks that they always have that option. And sometimes Blaine doesn’t like playing with him but he never tells him that, he just puts on a smile and continues making sure that the imaginary people are safe. 

Eli asks him when Cooper is going to get home and Blaine hesitates for a second because Eli never asks him about his brother. He only ever pays attention to Blaine and Blaine is curious about this sudden inquiry about his brother. So he tells him that Cooper has football practice and won’t be home until late, Blaine almost misses the small smile that doesn’t reach Eli’s eyes when he receives this news. _Almost._ He doesn’t think anything of it though, Blaine convinces himself that his friend is only smiling because he will get more time to spend with Blaine. But he can’t ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Something about his friend seems off today, he’s malicious towards the people, turning into the villain when he’s supposed to be the hero. 

Blaine deflates after an hour of this and sits down in front of his mother's favorite roses. He didn’t enjoy the dark twist in which their games had made, he wanted to help people not hurt them. Eli plops down besides him, close enough that their knees touch. It’s nothing unusual, they always sit close but there’s this glint in his eye’s that scares Blaine when he looks at him, so he doesn’t. He stares at the delicate red roses and he smiles softly. His smile falters when Eli brings up his hand and caresses the side of face.

“What are you doing?” Blaine can’t help the words from tumbling out of his mouth. 

“I want to show you just how much I care for you.” Blaine furrows his eyebrows because if Eli wanted to show him how much he cared, all he had to do was play the game. Blaine doesn’t need or want anything more. If you really care about someone, they will know it. And he knows that Eli cares for him. 

“You don’t have too, I already know.” He flashes Eli his award winning grin that nobody can resist. When Eli starts to slowly shake his head, Blaine realizes that somebody can resist it and he freezes.

“This is a special way of showing someone you care about them, Blaine. More important than anything else. Don’t you want to show me that you care about me? Or do you not care about me?” Blaine looks down because he does care. Eli is his best friend. He knows that now he’s going to do anything Eli wants him to do because he needs Eli to know that he cares about him. When Blaine looks back up, Eli’s smile looks more like a smirk but Blaine pushes that thought out of his mind. 

“It’s okay Blaine, this will be our little secret… don’t you trust me?” Blaine nods because he does trust him. And it’s not the first secret that will be kept between only them. They’ve accidentally broken things before and had promised not to rat each other out. This would be the same thing. Eli starts to get up and he instructs Blaine to lean on his elbows and knees, with his butt sticking out. He follows the instructions perfectly. Eli starts undoing his own pants before he starts on Blaine’s. And Blaine can’t help but shy away when Eli’s hands touch his pants. He thinks that it’s wrong, that his parents told him something about this. And let's Eli know his thoughts. But Eli shushes him by saying, “But I’m not a stranger Blaine, it’s only bad when it’s a stranger.” And he is right. His parents warned him about strangers touching him in his private areas, told him to get help and fight but no one ever told him what to do if it’s someone you trust, that you love. So he thinks that it’s okay. But he can’t help the slight tremble in his body and Eli notices and begins trying to comfort him by whispering things like, “It’s going to just be between you and me,” and, “nobody else is going to know, it’s okay.” Blaine doesn’t understand why it has to stay between them if it’s okay. and he tells Eli that. Eli explains to him that everybody does this but nobody talks about it. It’s just for the two people who did it. It’s private. And not only him, but his parents would be upset if Blaine ever told anybody. So Blaine vows to never tell anyone. He doesn’t like it when people are upset with him. 

After both boy's pants and underwear are not in the way things get serious. Eli tells him that it’s going to hurt and he can distract himself from the pain if he needs to. Eli’s hands are on him and he is calling Blaine beautiful and he’s used to being called cute and adorable but he doesn’t think that he’s ever been called beautiful before. 

He hears Eli whisper, “you don’t know what you do to me.” Before the pain starts, and he almost misses the breathless words and he almost wishes that he had. The pain is horrible and Blaine can’t help the quiet whimpers that leave his throat. 

He tries to distract himself from the pain like Eli had said to do. So he starts by listing facts in his head. 

Cooper is fourteen. A freshman in high school. Cooper is five years older than him. 

Eli is fourteen. A freshman in high school. Eli is five years older than him. Eli is homeschooled. Eli’s parents live right across the street. The families are close and spend a lot of time together. 

A searing pain brings him back to the present and he can’t help but let out a strangled sob. He tries and tries but the pain is too distracting to think of anything else and his whimpering increases gradually. 

“Flowers.” Eli says breathlessly, “try focusing on the flowers.” And so Blaine tries to. He likes the flowers almost as much as his mother does. He loves the rich red color they are and he loves the thorny stems even though he nicks himself on them constantly. He’s concentrating on the flowers like Eli said but it hurts. _It hurts_

_It hurts_

At some point the pain stops and Blaine feels Eli exit him but he doesn’t move or stop staring at the flowers. 

Red. Delicate. Beautifying. _Dying_

The roses are dying, and they do every year. But this year Blaine can feel something inside of him dying too.

The red is rich, like clotted blood. A petal floats to ground and Blaine feels something inside of him do the same. 

 

Something inside of him dies that day and it takes him years to realize what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing helps me a lot, so I thought I'd try to write something that happened to me in a different sense, scene, person, intensity, because usually when I write about things that have happened to me it releases them. 
> 
> This one was a little different, I had multiple panic and anxiety attacks while writing and reliving this but I will continue to write this in the hopes that it does something to lessen my personal hurt. 
> 
> There will be a happy ending, I promise.


	2. It was a stained glass variation of the truth

Blaine doesn’t know how long he’s laid there staring at his mother's roses. But from the dull ache in his knees and his shoulders, it’s been longer than he thought it had been. He doesn’t quite understand what just happened to him but it hurt it hurt _it hurts_

Suddenly Eli’s hands on his back and he doesn’t have the energy to resist so he lets Eli coax him up and pull his clothes up.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” He looks up at his friend and sees the smiling, happy face. And he nods his head. Because that’s the truth. He _is_ okay. Eli told him it would hurt, Eli didn’t lie to him. Eli is happy. He is happy and that’s all that matters to Blaine. “You did such a good job, you made me so happy. I’m proud of you, Blaine.” Eli voices his happiness and Blaine swears he can feel his heart flutter. Blaine gives him a small smile. Eli is happy and Eli is okay, so why shouldn’t he be? He wraps his arms around the older boy’s torso and hugs Eli tightly, but he doesn’t know whether he does it for the physical closeness or because it keeps him grounded. He decides that he does it for both. He breathes the smell of Eli’s cologne in deeply and wonders when his friend started wearing it, he wonders when his friend began to feel so grown up. Blaine cannot pinpoint the moment but his friend had evolved since he had first begun to babysit him. The clothes he wore shifted from dirty to immaculate. And when Blaine complimented what Eli was wearing, he’d wear it more often and vice versa. Eli was convinced that Blaine could do no wrong. Everything that Blaine did was perfect to him. The stupid little drawings left him speechless, the miniature papers left him impressed, anything and everything Blaine did was almost _worshiped_ by his friend. Blaine doesn’t know whether he should discourage this new behavior so he just lets it continue, nether encouraging or discouraging it.

“I didn’t know it would hurt so much, why did it hurt _so much?”_ He throws caution to the wind and voices the question that has been nagging him as he buries his face in Eli’s shoulder.

“Oh baby, remember how Batman and Robin always have to hurt before they can save the people?” Blaine nods numbly. “It’s like that. It hurts now but it was so good for me. I know you really care about me now. Blaine, you _helped_ me. Did you not want to help me?” Blaine can hear the hurt in Eli’s voice so he quickly consoles his friend.

“No!” The word comes out too fast and he isn’t sure Eli heard it, so he says it again, this time quieter and slower. “No. I wanted to help you and if I did then I don’t care if I’m hurt.” What Eli said makes sense to him. Superheroes and their sidekicks experience pain so other people don’t. And Blaine got to help another person, so he doesn’t know what there is to complain about.

Eli is the one who breaks off the hug and Blaine regrets the loss of contact. So he stares up at his friend with wide eyes, Eli’s notices right away and laughs. Blaine craves the warm and the feeling of being loved. But instead of reinitiating the hug as Blaine wants Eli merely motions for Blaine to follow him as he heads back into the house. And Blaine follows, though less eager now.

Blaine ignores the lingering pain as best as he can but he cannot hide the slight limp that takes over his body. Eli notices it when Blaine makes it inside of the house and instead of being concerned about him like Blaine had expected, Eli laughs. Blaine furrows his eyebrows and looks away from the older boy, he is hurt and he wants Eli to be concerned. He wants to be helped. And he wants the pain to leave. Eli must be able to tell something is off because his laughter is cut off suddenly.

“B, don’t look so upset. I’m laughing because that limp means that I have done my job correctly.” The tone of his voice makes Blaine think that he’s supposed to understand what Eli is saying but he doesn’t. He feels out of the loop. Something is wrong but he doesn’t know what. “It means that I’ve fucked you correctly.”

“Fucked?” His voice sounds small. As if he’s suddenly too small to fill up the room (had he always been?)

“That’s what we did baby. We fucked, that’s what it’s called.” Blaine is silent after he says that, mulling over the word in his head. He’s heard his father say it before but he’s never heard it in this sense. “And you have to remember, you can’t tell anybody Blaine. Nobody. Nobody can know.” Blaine promises Eli that he’s not going to tell anybody. That he doesn’t want anybody to be mad. And it’s not like they did anything wrong. They just did something that is private and that helped the eldest boy the most. (Blaine still doesn’t mind that Eli gets the better end of the bargain because he feels like a superhero in a way. He’s making Eli happy and he doesn’t need to be repaid for that.)

They spend the rest of the night splayed over the couch watching TV. Their bodies are intertwined and it is strange to Blaine, seeing as they’ve never watched TV like this before. But he lets it happen because it makes him feel special. The throbbing pain doesn’t leave him throughout the night but he doesn’t complain about it again because he knows it made Eli happy. If the pain means that Eli did it right then he would put up with it. And he’s always been a people pleaser, as his mother says. It’s not until Cooper and his father come home that Eli separates himself from Blaine. He puts one finger in front of his lips and winks at Blaine. Blaine just smiles up at him knowingly.

It was their secret.

 

_Nobody can know._

(Does that mean it's not okay?)

_Nobody can know._

(Blaine doesn’t like keeping secrets.)

_Nobody can know._

(Why that sounds more like a threat then it does an statement confuses Blaine.)

 

_Nobody can know_


	3. And I felt empty handed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I'll have a set uploading schedule for this and I am sorry about that. But I promise you won't have to have wait months for a new chapter.

Cooper was never the best at saying no, or perhaps his need to be popular was stronger than anything else. So when a house was needed to celebrate making it to the playoffs, Blaine’s brother gladly offered the family’s home. There was no complaints from the underclassmen, seeing as the Anderson’s house was not only parent free but huge. The freshman had allowed the older guys to help him plan it out. The boys had invited everybody they knew and with the promise of alcohol, they had come.

Blaine was quite inexperienced at parties but he tried his very best to fit in. But being a kid around a bunch of drunk teenagers was not an easy task. He was standing in the kitchen with a group of guys who think that they are all comedians. And he has to admit, some of their jokes _are_ actually good but their next joke fails to even make him smile. 

“I called that Rape Advice line earlier today. Unfortunately, it’s only for victims.” And even though he doesn’t know what the word ‘rape’ means, he doesn’t find the joke even remotely funny. Maybe it’s because he hears the word victim and he _knows_ it doesn’t mean anything good. He hesitantly asks the drunk teenagers what it means, his eyes are cast low because he hates seeming like a dumb kid, even though that’s exactly what he is. But they just shrug off his ignorance and explain it to him and then they crack another joke about it. And he feels his stomach drop. He doesn’t know why they are joking about something so serious and so he excuses himself from the conversation and heads off to find Cooper. Blaine doesn’t know what he plans on doing once he finds him but Blaine suddenly cannot stand the mass of people in his house, his hands are clammy and he feels nauseous. Something just doesn’t feel right anymore. He doesn’t know why but the word caused a tremor in his body. He doesn’t know why and it makes him feel like a toddler as he searches, in earnest, for his brother. 

Blaine finally spots his brother making out with some girl on his father’s favorite leather couch. He doesn’t want to be a bother so he patiently waits for his brother to notice him standing in front of him. It takes Cooper ten minutes before he sees Blaine. He says something to the girl and she slides off his lap and busies herself on her phone. Blaine gathers the courage to look at her face.

Blaine immediately knows who she is seeing as Cooper wouldn’t stop talking to him about her. Blaine can tell why she’s considered attractive but he feels like he misses something because when he looks at her, Blaine thinks that he’s seen prettier guys. He dismisses the thought hurriedly, almost horrified that he had it, and gets ready to tell Cooper what he had come to tell him but before he can blurt out his words Cooper stands and leads Blaine to a corner of the room and speaks. 

“Hey squirt, do you need something? I was in the middle of something.” He sounds flustered and irritated and Blaine immediately feels bad for bothering him. 

“Make them leave Cooper. I don’t want them here anymore.” Blaine’s words come out so softly that he’s not even sure that Cooper hears him. But his world is shaking and Blaine needs it to stop. 

“Just go up to your room. It won’t bother you then.” Blaine just silently blinks for a second, he feels like he can’t breathe and he needs his brother to understand that. 

“I don’t want them here, make them leave.” Blaine can see the anger in his brother's face and it is only then that Blaine realizes his brother is drunk. “Please Cooper. I can’t,” his voice cracks so he tries again, “I can’t,” he doesn’t know why but he feels like he needs to say it again, so he does,”I can’t,” and again, “I can’t,” again, “I can’t,” Blaine makes to say it again but Cooper moves before he can realize it and suddenly he’s being dragged away. Blaine can’t tell where, but Cooper is stumbling and Blaine wants him to stop, he wants Cooper to realize that he’s losing his mind. He wants Cooper to notice, wants him to care. 

“Come back in the morning when you’re not freaking out. Some of us, Blaine, want to have fun! Some of us want to loosen up. I’m sure Eli will want you because I really don’t.” Cooper’s face is hard and he sounds disgruntled and Blaine tries to not let the words sting. He knows his brother is not in his right mind, he has seen his mother in the same situation. With a small shove he is out of the house and his brother quickly slams the door. 

He is shellshocked. But he is grateful to be out of the house and away from the people. He gingerly wraps his arms around himself and looks at the looming house across the street. The mansion is just as grand as the Anderson’s and that gives him some comfort. Because although it isn’t home, it is the next best thing. 

His body is trembling and whether it’s from the cold or from something else, he isn’t sure. But he finds himself in front of Eli’s house and he hesitates before he rings the doorbell. It’s silent for a moment and Blaine ponders ringing it again for good measure but before he can press it, the door is flung open and he’s greeted by the wary face of Mrs Clark. Her face changes when she sees the small boy in front of her but it remains strained. Her body follows suit, becoming tense and rigid. She seems to almost curl into herself and Blaine can relate to the movement. 

“I-I’m sorry to disturb you at this time, mam, but I was wondering if I could spend the rest of the night here.” Blaine’s voice is hardly above a whisper and he struggles to keep eye contact. He can’t help his body from trembling and he’s terrified that Eli’s mother will notice and comment on it. She doesn’t and Blaine is relieved but he notices her gaze shift from him to behind him and his breath hitches in his throat as Blaine knows she can see the obvious party going on. “Please, I won’t be a bother.” He says in an attempt to deflect the attention back onto him. Blaine doesn’t want her to gather enough information to relay to his father, doesn’t want to have to deal with the fallout. It works as she returns her gaze to the young boy. (But he still tries to convince himself that, if need be, he can re-enter that house with those people still in it. That if Eli’s mother sends him away, he will be okay.) 

“You’re never a bother, Blaine. I’m sure Eli will be ecstatic to see you.” She smiles at him and Blaine can’t help but notice that it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Mrs Clark steps aside and beckons him in but Blaine can’t find the strength to move.

“Mrs Clark? I don’t mean to be nosey but are you okay?” She tenses up at the sudden and unexpected question, more so than she already was and Blaine is no longer just curious. He is worried. She forces her smile to be bigger before replying.

“I am fine. Now, I need to prepare for bed now so if you’d come in and go to Eli’s room, that would be splendid.” Blaine nods his head curtly, understanding her want to change the subject (he knows better than to push people’s buttons. That if somebody wants to say something, they will. There’s no reason to force someone to talk about something that they don't want to talk about.) He enters the house and immediately starts to head up the stairs to Eli’s room. But the memory of the raging party across the street stops him. Blaine turns around to find Mrs Clark watching him. He breathes in deeply before opening his mouth. 

“Please don’t tell my father about this. Cooper means well, he really does, he just wants to be successful.” She nods her head and gives him a knowing smile before Blaine turns around and continues the trek to Eli’s room. 

Blaine stops himself in front of Eli’s room. He can’t help the sinking feeling in stomach that this is the last place that he wants to be. He just wants to be home. He wants to be home and he wants to be free. 

He doesn’t know what he wants to be free from, only that he wants to be. 

He doesn’t want to be here and he doesn’t know why. (And that scares him) 

Eli loves him.

Eli has always loved him. (And always will) 

 

(Something feels wrong. Why does something feel wrong?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who has left Kudos and comments. It means the world to me<3 I didn't expect the response I got and it's absolutely heartwarming. I know the subject is as hard to read as it is to write but I hope that with a promise of a happy ending, you can read on with a not so heavy heart and mind. 
> 
> (I'll get around to replying to the comments soon! I promise)


	4. You let me set sail with cheap wood

Blaine can hear a movie being softly played from inside of Eli’s room. Blaine convinces himself that he’s standing outside of the room, instead of inside of it, is because he wants to learn what movie Eli is watching. That he wants to learn what it is before he goes inside. But Blaine knows it’s a lie, he has this sinking feeling in his stomach and he doesn’t like it. He wants it to leave before he enters because he’s afraid he might vomit. Soon he realizes that he is getting nowhere by delaying the inevitable so he knocks on Eli’s door. The older boy responds immediately by letting out an exasperating sounding, “come in!” So Blaine does, he does everything with a sluggish feeling that makes him feel like he’s living in slow motion. But after what seems like an eternity (but in reality was probably only a couple seconds) he makes it inside of the room. Blaine stands still once he’s inside, he doesn’t utter a word because he isn’t sure he’ll be able to control what comes out. The younger boy has always had a bit of a problem with word vomiting (and ultimately, vomiting in general.) Blaine’s eyes are fixated on the ground and no matter how hard he tries to quench the trembling in his body, he finds himself unable. So Blaine wraps his arms around himself and clings on for dear life, trying to prevent himself from breaking down. (In the end, it fails him.) 

The elder boy doesn’t look up right away, clearly expecting the person who entered to speak. But after a minute or so of silence Eli looks up. And although Blaine eyes are fixated on the ground, he can tell exactly when Eli glances at him. There’s a sharp intake of breath and the movie is paused. Blaine knows at once that coming over here was a mistake. That he should have sucked it up and returned to his room. But he’s just so tired and done and god, he just wants everything to stop for a second. His world is simultaneously moving in fast forward and slow motion and he doesn’t know if he wants to vomit, pass out, or cry. But with the way things are looking, Blaine fears that he’ll do all three. 

“Blaine?” Blaine looks up then and miserably tries to stop the tears that seemed to come from nowhere. (Blaine knows that he is kidding himself. That the tears had been threatening to escape since he told Cooper he wanted everyone to leave.) He doesn't do a good job in stopping them apparently because suddenly his body quakes with emotion and the tears start to flow down his face. Eli doesn’t move off of his bed until Blaine’s legs give out from underneath him. And said boy falls to the floor in a sobbing heap. Then the older boy rushes from his bed to Blaine and brings the younger boy into his arms. Eli wraps his arms around Blaine tightly and whispers soothing words into his ear. It takes a long time before the words of comfort have their wanted effect and Blaine’s sobbing subsides into hiccups and sniffling. But whether Blaine calms down from the words of comfort or from time, he refuses to think about it.

“I'm sorry.” Blaine croaks out warily while leaning his head against Eli’s chest. Blaine doesn't think he could look the older boy in the eyes right now. Blaine hadn’t meant to start crying, he thought he had his emotions under control. 

“Oh honey,” Blaine nearly flinches at the term of endearment. He doesn't understand why Eli always insists on calling him such things, “you have nothing to be sorry about. What's going on?” 

“Cooper’s throwing a party and I wanted him to end it but instead he threw me out.” Eli’s grip on him tightens ever so slightly and it frightens him slightly. He wants nothing more than to wiggle out and hide. But instead, Blaine tightens his grip on Eli in the same way. “I don't even understand why I'm so upset. I guess that I just wanted him to realize that something was wrong. But I don't blame him either. Seeing as if he ended that party right then, he wouldn't be trusted to throw another one.” Blaine doesn't know how to explain what he’s feeling. Only that there's a sour feeling inside of him and he wants it out. He doesn't tell Eli this though, because he's terrified that it's connected to the elder boy. 

“He’s drunk isn't he? That's why he didn't listen to you.” Blaine opens his mouth to protest, to protect his brother but before he can Eli continues on in a harsh tone. “Don't even try to protect him, Blaine. Cooper always listens to you. I can go over there and talk some sense into him if you'd like.” Blaine grips him harder then, trying to ground not only Eli there, but himself. Blaine wants nothing more then to be able to melt through the ground and forget that any of this is happening. But he can't. And it's the present that counts right now. Blaine knows that he couldn't stand to be alone right now. That he's a inch away from passing out and not protecting his brother. And he knows he has to do something. So he tries something. He begs and begs Eli not to leave him alone. Blaine becomes frantic as he tries to convince the older boy not to go across the street. He works himself into a hysteria and he can’t control the new batch of tears that starts to escape his eyes. Blaine supposes that in the end, it is the reason Eli doesn’t go over there. That with one look at Blaine’s face, Eli knew he couldn’t leaving the poor boy by himself while he was in the middle of a breakdown.

Blaine really doesn't want to start a fight between the two boys. Not only does he hate conflict in general but he doesn’t want his brother to get hurt. Everyone makes mistakes and Blaine is sure that Cooper will regret it come morning. Not to mention that the fight would be utterly in the favor of Eli, with his brother being highly intoxicated. And even though, he is the younger brother, Blaine can protect Cooper all the same. And Blaine is proud of that. 

Eli strokes Blaine's curls for a couple minutes before he picks Blaine up and carries him to the bed. He gently lays Blaine on the bed and takes off the younger boys shoes and uncomfortable jeans. And then does the same for himself. Blaine is terrified for a moment about what is going to happen. But when Eli lays down next to him and pulls him close, he relaxes. 

 

Eli doesn’t try to do anything with Blaine for the rest of the night. And for that, Blaine is thankful.


	5. So I patched up every leak that I could

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for this late update. It took awhile for me to decide which direction I wanted to continue this story in. And after careful consideration, I have made my choice. I am currently on vacation but I'll try not to let so much time go on before an update again.

Flash Forward five years and Blaine is a freshman in high school (well, nearly, only a month more before it's official) and his brother is in California trying to become famous. Blaine still can't forgive him for leaving. Yes, the two never really had a solid relationship but Blaine feels utterly alone now. Maybe he'd always been alone. Maybe the knowledge of his brother being close to him was comforting. (Blaine thinks it makes him sound like a baby, but he can't find it in him to care.) Eli’s accepted a job to work at some auto shop a town over. It takes up nearly all his free time and Blaine can't be more grateful. The younger boy is timid to say his life is doing better now that he hardly sees the other boy because he doesn't want to spoil everything. Of course, Eli often still spends time with him, still calls him late nights, drunk, asking him to come over. Blaine always goes over. But what other choice does he has? Eli has proven to be the only person who truly cares about Blaine. Even if Eli doesn't really care for Blaine, at least he pretends like he does better than anybody else. Eli is the closest thing to a friend Blaine is sure he’ll ever get.

It's still summer now but the start of school looms overhead like a black cloud. High school, Blaine thinks, is a load of horseshit. Why else would his brother risk his future just for popularity? Throwing parties that always had underage drinking and occasionally had drugs. It was something that Cooper had taken with him to LA. Cooper did anything others asked of him, if it made them like him. Blaine already wanted to vomit at the thought of people taking advantage of his older brother. Blaine knew it would happen. It always did with Cooper. Blaine would rather be killed then admit he already missed his brother. Mostly because there was nothing he could do to fix it. When Cooper had first left, Blaine tried calling him. Tried to keep him updated on Blaine's life and on their parents. But the other boy was more interested in talking about his life, the big city and the jobs he was getting. Cooper would criticize Blaine whenever Blaine actually got the chance to talk. Anything and everything Blaine told him, Cooper found fault with. Auditioning for the glee club with a popular pop song? _Girly Blaine! You should've gone for a classic or some rock!_ Getting into a fight with the boy down the street? _Geez Blaine, if you take everything to heart, you’ll never make it to your twenties._ And maybe he won’t. But Blaine isn’t entirely sure that would be a bad thing. Blaine knows he’ll never be able to impress Cooper. So Eventually Blaine just stops trying. Blaine doesn't call him anymore, doesn't ask for help with song ideas or dance routines. Cooper, well, it doesn't even seem like the older boy cares. Blaine never gets calls from him. Nothing. Blaine hadn’t thought it was possible but he hates his brother more every day that goes by without a phone call.

Ohio, already being a very conservative state, high schools were hell. If you weren't following the norm, you could expect to almost lose your life. Many times. Westerville was one of the worst, Blaine knows that. It's teachers ignored bullying, even the physical kind. He didn't know why he was so nervous about being a freshman next month. He was popular in middle school. Never had any enemies or anything of the like. Of course, Blaine hadn’t ever mentioned that he thought he was gay either. Blaine thinks his popularity would've changed if he had. But it's not like he'll ever know now. Maybe they would of been supportive. The idea is ludicrous but it gives him a small amount of comfort. In the end, Blaine’s glad he hadn't told anybody in middle school because he wasn't sure then, the way that he is now. He’s gay. There’s no point allowing himself to think it’s a phase. It hasn’t been for years and he doubts it will ever change.

Blaine isn't sure whether Eli is the one who made him gay or not. He doesn't even know if it can work like that. And it's not like he can ask anybody either. Blaine hears the way his father talks about gays at his parties. His father is a lawyer, one of the best in the state. Mr Anderson is also incredibly conservative. Blaine’s father is the kind of man who forces the whole family to attend church on Sunday's and parties Sunday evening. Blaine’s heard it all, gays are ruining the government, marriage, children. Anything that's a problem gets blamed on them and the young boy doesn't understand the hate. They just want to love the person they love. As does he. Even though he hasn't meet that person yet. No, Blaine is positive that he'd be shunned if he told his father that he liked boys the way he was supposed to like girls. He’d be disowned. Or ignored. Blaine doesn’t know which one would be worse.

Blaine considers asking Eli about it the next time he sees him, and after considering the pros and cons, Blaine decides that he will. It's in the AM when Blaine gets the text. His father’s in Michigan and his mother is passed out from drinking too much. The buzz startles him from the light slumber he was in. Blaine quickly grabs his phone from the nightstand and squints his eyes at the bright screen. Blaine's surprised to see that it's a text, not a call.  

 

Eli, 3:19AM;  
**Come over.**

The text is abrupt, just like almost everything the elder boy does. So Blaine gets ready. Changes out of his pajamas into simple jeans and a sweater. He doesn't gel down his hair, a habit he had started in the beginning of summer, knowing that Eli likes his curly hair better. Maybe that's why Blaine had begun to hate it so much. Blaine doesn't bother being quiet as he leaves the house. He knows his mother is going to be out until well into the morning.

So Blaine hurriedly walks across the street to Eli’s family's mansion and quietly let's himself in. There's no need, he knows. Eli’s father is out of the country and his mother left two years ago. She lives in a small apartment in the city. Eli visits her every so often. Blaine wishes he'd visit her more. Blaine doesn't know why the elder boy continues living in his father's house. If Blaine were him, he would of moved out as soon as he could. Eli’s father was someone who Blaine was terrified of, even with their limited interactions. Their parents got along fine, but Mr Clark always hated Blaine. Maybe he knew Blaine was gay and his disgust of homosexuals was the cause. But Blaine doubted that. Everyone thought he was straight. Hell, he looked exactly like any other straight boy his age. Then again, are gay people supposed to look any different? Blaine doesn’t know and it kills him.

Blaine reaches the door to Eli’s room and knocks lightly. There's no response. No annoyed yell or thrown open door. Just… silence. It's strange. Eli never ignores Blaine when he calls him over. It’s only been a couple minutes so Blaine knows the older boy isn't angry with him for taking too long. Blaine carefully extends his hand and grasps the doorknob. He stands there for a moment, gripping the cool metal before gathering the courage to open the door slowly and quietly.

Blaine finds Eli dead asleep on his couch, his phone resting on his chest. Blaine picks up the phone and puts it on the coffee table. He then proceeds to grab a blanket and drape it over the elder boy. Blaine doesn't know why he does it, he doubts the favor would of been returned. But he does it anyways. Then he sits down on the floor in front of the couch and waits. He waits because he has questions. He waits because Eli would be angry if he had not. He waits because going back to his lonely house sounds worse. And Eli sleeping means Eli can't hurt him. It's funny, Blaine thinks as he's looking at the boy sleeping in front of him, Blaine finds him beautiful. It’s funny. Blaine knows it shouldn’t be but it’s funny.

Eli is beautiful. Blaine finds him beautiful.

 

(Did Eli make him gay?)

 

Blaine finds Eli beautiful and Blaine finds himself more repulsive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys for taking the time to read this little story. When I first wrote this, I was not expecting so many kind people to read and comment. I appreciate the support soso much.
> 
> I hope you all have a wonderful summer and I hope to be back with another chapter soon (:
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, I am sorry if there are any mistakes in this. As I said before, I am on vacation and do not have the time to read this over as extensively as I normally would.)


End file.
